Photo by 'hellobaby' of deviantart.com
After the past couple of rather hectic weeks, I find myself exhausted and a bit disappointed with myself. I suppose I saw too late that main fault within myself. Though I have confidence, intelligence, and some general sway with people...when I moved out I realized that glaringly obvious "elephant in the room". I don't do things for myself. I don't feel it important to do so. ...that is, it is lower on my list of priorities than others for the most part.
At least, not for the most part. I admit that I am working on it, but that beast called lethargy has definitely found it's way inside my mind like a drug, and it's difficult to purge myself of because of its strange bliss-less allure.
Because of that I have felt myself...stumbling through life, blindly, but sometimes with an incredulous smile on my face at the rollercoaster I have strapped myself onto.
I feel I am The Fool. Wide-eyed and childlike in the face of reality, with a sense of wonder and imaginative curiosity I seldom see reflected in the minds and hearts of others my age. And yet, because of that wonder at this fantastic reality...it seems sometimes that I've gotten stuck in a rosy, picturesque version of this world.
And because of that, sometimes, I don't see the serpent hiding in the apple tree.
What I need, what I want, what I fear to do. Becomes irrelevant as I am lulled to this sleepwalker state, oblivious of how selfishly selfless I've managed to become.
***********************************
Confused? Maybe? Think on it a bit. You'll find more often than not, that it's really just food for thought! (>^_^)>#
At least, not for the most part. I admit that I am working on it, but that beast called lethargy has definitely found it's way inside my mind like a drug, and it's difficult to purge myself of because of its strange bliss-less allure.
Because of that I have felt myself...stumbling through life, blindly, but sometimes with an incredulous smile on my face at the rollercoaster I have strapped myself onto.
I feel I am The Fool. Wide-eyed and childlike in the face of reality, with a sense of wonder and imaginative curiosity I seldom see reflected in the minds and hearts of others my age. And yet, because of that wonder at this fantastic reality...it seems sometimes that I've gotten stuck in a rosy, picturesque version of this world.
And because of that, sometimes, I don't see the serpent hiding in the apple tree.
What I need, what I want, what I fear to do. Becomes irrelevant as I am lulled to this sleepwalker state, oblivious of how selfishly selfless I've managed to become.
***********************************
Confused? Maybe? Think on it a bit. You'll find more often than not, that it's really just food for thought! (>^_^)>#
