Realizing Maturity

    As anyone who read my last post knows, the whole 'living on my own' thing is kind of blowing up in my face.  I don't have enough money to sustain myself, job market is shit (though apparently Wall Street says it's getting better according to what I can only describe as a manic depressant stock market [see? SEE?!]), and I honestly am not sure where to go from here, though my reasoning tells me the obvious and best choice is to move back in with my family...my faerie senses are telling me that I should just get a survival knife, a few lighters, some canned food, and go build a small hobbit like house somewhere in the woods where I can vacation from humanity for a while lol. (I'm being totally serious haha).

But! There have been some good things that came out of my dabbling in independence from my parents.  I have been raised to be independent.  Despite the current factors outside of myself which limit my ability to function in this society without them, I am mentally and emotionally prepared to be on my own.  And that in and of itself, I think, is what I really sought in the first place.  To be able to test myself out in this man-made reality, in the modern human's habitat.  To see how I manage with people that are outside of my previous realm of experiences.  To know myself, in essence.  And to see how far I've come...and how far I still have to go before I am who I want to be.  Or perhaps, to be able to truly see my potential and my own inner power.

So thank you parental units of mine.  I may have complained a lot about my childhood, and you guys, and etc. but it's only natural...I am a teenager after all haha :0P (just kidding, don't rely on such a foolish stereotype to explain my behavior >.< )

But honestly...thank you.  Seems you did a better job with my difficult self than I ever gave you credit for.

And now as I head on in this weird journey I have set out on, it is clear to me now that I have the tools and skills I need to succeed and deal with whatever obstacles that come to me.  And also, that I have relationships with compassionate and trustworthy individuals.

Now I just have to allow myself the opportunity, the self-discipline, and above all, self-encouragement to be able to do what I need to do.

I GOT THE POWERRR!...now I just need to use it.

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And there you have it, your daily dose of delicious, nutritious thought. (>^_^)>#

Life or Something Like it

After only one month of living in my apartment, my two roommates have called it quits because of a rather severe roach infestation in the kitchen of our humble abode.

Now be assured here, I don't blame them, because roaches are rather cumbersome little pests, but even a roach problem can be solved.  And I was rather bent on solving it, even if it took annoying the hell out of the landlord and the office workers to get it done.
   Because I recognized this as my home now, at least for the year.  This was the place I was supposed to spend..at LEAST the rest of the year in haha.

But...'tis no matter I suppose, but life itself at work.  My gut told me to be wary of roommates before, but I have a nasty habit of not following my intuition in the cases especially where it is most right, so strike one for me.  ...However, this sticky situation I have found myself in seems to have renewed my inability to trust my peers, the exception being the few that I have wholly given my trust to (you people know who you are when you read this,.there aren't that many of you lol).

When living with people whom you are co-dependent on, I realize that you always have to have a safety net just in case your ability to rely on them as they do you begins to wane.  Now this isn't to say that that waning is a bad thing - every person must do what is best for them, even sometimes to the detriment of others.  I am disappointed with how this situation turned out, yes.
But I understand the state of things, and have no hard feelings about them leaving.

Now I'm just wondering where to go next.  I need another job or I won't be able to support myself.  I need a new place to live, most likely a one bed one bath, furnished with a stove (I have a fridge and microwave already).
   I have pretty much all I need..though admittedly that isn't much...and I do have parents to depend on, and very dependable and compassionate friends and a loving boyfriend (far away though he is most of the time)...

I just need to keep my focus on the big picture, that's all.

...yep.

T.V. Dinner Tonight?: More Financial Woes

As the title suggests, unfortunately as Americans and as subjects of our government, soon everyone's going to start to feel the brunt of the Budget Control Act of 2011,  a bill passed by Congress and signed into law by the president earlier this week (a bill which, by the way, affords no new tax increases [meaning no new revenues for the govt]...which means all of that ridiculous arguing between the parties for NO NEW TAX INCREASES, DRASTIC SPENDING CUTS on one side, and ONLY TAX INCREASES, DEBT CEILING RAISE! was...in a word utterly pointless and a supreme waste of time) and which appeased both parties by giving Republicans in a sense..everything they asked for lol, and giving Democrats the only thing they actually cared about getting -- the debt ceiling raised. For a Quick Summary of the "Budget Control Act of 2011",<--- click there.

     Despite the 11th hour rush to pass this shit-storm (word is hyphenated because self-correct told me it was better that way :P ) of a financial policy, the U.S. financial markets still took a dive and though they raised slightly after the vigorous downward spiral, the stock market is still very volatile as investors around the world are coming to grips with the American government's supreme ineptness at handling its business.
Dow average still heading down

Wall St. Turns Positive

My thoughts about the average American citizen's ideal next move in all of this?  Watch as the investors and those who depended on the U.S. for support financial (so..the entire world basically) begin to take heed of these repeated financial downturns as a result of financial stupidity at the individual level (yes, I'm talking to you average citizen who spent more than you damn well knew that you could afford)...to the highest branches of the U.S. government, who I will not blame here.

Why you ask, do I refuse to chastise our government, and rather turn the blame to the American citizen?  It is because they are politicians.  It is in their job description to be uncaring, ruthless, selfish, conniving, greedy, malicious, self-righteous bastards.  It is well document throughout history lol.

I chastise instead myself and my fellow countrymen, for knowing the nature of these men and women and STILL being complacent and watching them gut our once great country and throw it to the metaphorical lion's den.
Economic Issues Remain in Wake of Debt Resolution

But given the country's love for preemptive striking against "potential" national threats both internationally AND DOMESTICALLY (I won't go into my theories about 9/11 and the wars we've currently lodged ourselves in, in this post lol), I won't start touting ideas about becoming vigilant crime fighters and making citizen militias and shit like that.

No, fellow country men, the revolution I think that needs to come instead is one that removes our dependency on such volatile markets. I invite you all to visit the Backwoods Home Magazine (I will post a link to it on the home page after this post, or you can just google it if ye don't wanna wait) and learn how to live self-reliantly.

We as a people depend on the American government and the markets they influence for food, shelter, tools, and money to buy those necessities from them.  Just as well we also depend on them for the gasoline, cars/buses/other forms of transportation, and JOBS needed to get the money to even survive.  I urge you all to take steps to become more self-reliant.  Because just as foreign investors would do themselves a disservice by putting more of their time and money into a broken and obviously malfunctioning system...so would we as U.S. citizens or as I should better call us...domestic investors.

Trust me, there is no harm in learning to survive apart from the system.

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 And there you have it, your daily organic--T.V. dinner?--- requirements. Satisifed. (>^_^)>#

The Simple Dinner #1

    Helen shuffled quietly to the makeshift stove -- a large plate of smooth grey metal hung just above a small patch of growing embers William drew up in the fireplace.  On it she placed two cleaned and gutted fish, sprinkling on it wild rosemary and drenching it with salt water from below the mouth of the river which she and her husband -- we previously called him William -- lived by.  She took a slightly wilted head of cabbage and cut it into quarters before throwing it into a small pot of boiling water hanging on the other end of the fire.

     "Darling?" Helen called.  "Please get some cheese and bread from the cupboard?"

     William grunted unflatteringly but did as Helen asked, moving up from his cushioned chair and taking from the cupboard a loaf of dark sourdough bread and a roll of goat cheese, placing them on ceramic plates and arranging them neatly on the wooden table in the center of the living room.

     Helen came to the table with the boiled cabbage -- having added garlic and salt to it previously -- and the seared fish.  She placed the food into other earthen plates, and filled two shallow drinking bowls with a cool red wine.

     When all the food was prepared, she and her husband briefly locked eyes and a moment of unspoken love passed between them.

    And...the moment finally passing...they began to eat, speaking of the now finished day.